Phil Manser

I forgot how good it feels to have pride in your work. Like the other day when I was flipping through a magazine and I stopped on a product that looked awfully familiar. It suddenly hit me that I was working on the website for the manufacturer of that product and it filled me with glee. (Silly, I know, but still very enjoyable.)

It’s incredible to think back just a few months, to a time when I was beginning to hate my job, regret my career path, and despise the asses people I worked for; to now, where I once again, enjoy my job, consider excitedly what the future holds, and genuinely appreciate the awesome people I work with.

I guess the lesson here is – don’t give up or give in.

This may just be the sleep deprivation talking, but I feel especially happy this morning. I don’t know why exactly; I got a few things done during the night, but not a whole lot. I’m just feeling good and deciding to enjoy it.

I took a walk around the neighborhood this morning. It seemed like a nice day, so I grabbed my coffee cup and strolled around. I don’t know exactly why I enjoy looking at houses so much. My dad has the same like, and I guess it’s a little strange. I particularily like seeing the unique ones. It doesn’t have to be pretty, just different. A house doesn’t feel like a home unless their’s something that sets it apart from the other places, in my own opinion.

As I walked a little further and passed by one particular house, a reason as to why I enjoy looking at houses formed. The house I passed that inspired this was one I had seen built while still a child. I remembered that when we took walks past it, I would let my mind wander and imagine that I lived in it. I still do that occasionally. I didn’t just imagine that I moved into though. I would actually imagine that I had grown up in it, that I woke up in the mornings and descended the spiral staircase to the kitchen.

It never surprised me until today that everything was changed just because of that small alteration. Displacing your past a block and a half away from where it actually occured should probably not alter its outcome so much, but it my imagination, it always does. Perhaps it is the influence of my feeling that everything in this life lies in delicate balance with everything else, so that if you were to alter just one little thing, everything would feel its effect. Or perhaps my imaginings formed this opinion in the first place.

I’m lying right now with a big fuzzy cat on my arm and my beautiful girl just on the other side of him — both fast asleep. This is what I imagine future Saturday mornings/Sunday afternoons to be like, and it warms my heart and brings a gladness to my soul. These simple things that I didn’t think I would find or at the very least expected them to take a long time are now here. Moments like these (and there are many of them) remind of all that’s happened over the past 2 years and how much God has blessed me.

She looks so peaceful, all stretched out with her arm on my shoulder. George looks pretty relaxed too with his eyes closed and his big feet in the air. It doesn’t even disturb his sleep when I type with the hand that he’s resting his head on.

It sounds like it’s time for me to go home, get some rest of my own. How I look forward though, to calling this place home, one day.

I hadn’t thought of this before, but perhaps this is the purpose for why it feels like everything is piling on me. I’ve been blowing things I deem unecessary off, but perhaps the very reason for all this is so that I learn to put things I think are important on the backburner until the things that are important to the people I care about are done. These people are more important to me than anything else.

How could I have missed this before?

It’s nice to get away and spend some time with the girlfriend and respective families. Sure it’s kinda weird and I tried to get out of it, but hey, so did she.

Did I mention that there’s no internet connection?